Some things are meant to be and for the past two weeks I have felt like Moses standing before the Red Sea and it is parting. Only in my version I am a college grad and I am parting my career path. You see, since I got off the trail my weathervane has been continuously spinning, refusing to point in one direction.

One morning, two weeks ago, I woke up and I began to plan my day, make breakfast, go for a hike with Molly, organize room. Then I thought, no, I need to look for jobs. I flipped open my lap top and searched career builder, then I found it. It was the right place, location and I had the desirable experience. Not only would I apply my degree, I was the desireable candidate due to my degree, skills and experience. I sat in bed all morning tweeking my resume, developing a coverletter and filling out the application. My dad came in at 1:30pm and asked if I was going to ever going to go downstars.

The next day, I met with my sister A.K.A my career services guru. We spent the morning tweeking polishing everything up before sending it off on day 3 that it was posted.

My parents are moving and whether or not I go with them is dependent on jobs. So I started to go through the motions of moving. So on Friday right after I broke down my bed and packed up my room I recieved a call asking if I could come in on Monday for an interview. Hold the mattress, I may be staying in town.

Natalie: "Now you're going to have to actually wash your hair, as in, use shampoo and conditioner."
Natalie gave me the pep talk, drilled me with potential interview questions, invited me to stay on her couch, made me breakfast, did my hair and makeup and let me borrow a suit. Seriously, I don't know how I would have pulled this off without her. My sister was telling her boss about me, saying that I was planning on wearing a pair of dress pants and a nice shirt to the interview until my sister snapped me back to reality and said that I needed to wear a suit and that she had one for me. "Is your sister kindove a hippi," she asked.

As it turns out, the suit Natalie, let me borrow was the suit she got from a clothes swap which used to be her friends who wore the very suit to her interview at the same institution and she got the job! On top of this Natalie had the day off on Monday, so on top of all the other great things Natalie did for me that morining, she also drove me to the interview and provided moral support when I got out.

Spider 8

Today I drove up to our new town and met my parents at the Declan's for dinner. Kate had us choose Native American Medicine Cards. Mine was the spider. Apparently the alphabet was inspired by the spider web with its geometric shapes. No longer would children have to remember symbols they would now have a written language. Secondly, the web points in the four directions of the medicine wheel and determines the fate of others. Apparently, if the spider appears in my life it is a symbol to, "create, create, create!" It is also a warning that I may be getting too tangled in a situation. It is also to remind me to reflect on what I have woven and see the fruits of my labor instead of continuing to spin out a plan for life. "Congratulations," it exclaims, "for the spider has saved you from being blind to the possibilities you have createdalready." Or something like that. I am paraphrasing, as I cannot remember word for word what was written. It also mentioned that the spider helps people to look beyond the horizon of the physical world and that its web collects morning dew. It also reminds me that whatever the situation is I can make it good or bad. I have the ability to change the circumstances. It suggests that I keep a journal and note my creative progress.

Now how this spiritual reading hits home. The alphabet, right away reminded me of teaching and the fact that I am getting TEFL certified, the children need to know more. Secondly, the web points in all four directions of the medicine wheel, and I want to practice alternative medicine. The message of the spider is to create, and I have been itching to create: art, pottery, moccasins, a garden, a spiritual center. I need to figure out what situation I am getting too tangled up in, maybe that of wanting to find an apartment, or get a normal job, after all I am a nature freak and unconventional. My mentality has completely flip-flopped since I got off the trail. On the trail, barefoot and spirited, I had the idea that an opportunity would surface and give me direction in life. I had no direction planned, post-graduation, so I chose South on the AT. When I had to get off due to injury I was snapped back and almost overtaken by the conventional world. But I was/ still am fighting it. I dappled in spirituality and clearing out your chakras, alternative medicine and teaching. I was then fixated on this idea that I could find an apartment and a job in health care and be on my own. I don't know what I think now...which has been the case for the past 2 months.

The reading reminds me to stop spinning and look at what I have accomplished and use it. I need to figure out what that is. Let's look at my situation at this point: I am graduated magna cum laude with a bio degree, we are moving to NH, this prospect has been daunting but the ironic thing is, this place suits me perfectly, with its clean air, mountain views and back to basics mindset. My parents have offered me a place to live (free-of-charge), my dad also offered to buy me a car, and pay off my college debt. I have pushed all of this away with my stubbornness. Here is the perfect place to grow. I need to embrace it and put my weaving to rest for the moment.

Everything I want to accomplish, can be done here. The reading tells me that I change change the fate of any situation, and I need to see the move as good. This idea that I help people to see beyond the horizon of the physical world, relates to the fact that I have gained a new appreciation for spirituality. I love the morning and the web collects morning dew.

"The eight ball...isn't it lucky?" I saw a spider, the same spider yesterday and today, I rescued and released both of them. Could be coincidence...but I think not.

Career Services

So today I begin my job search...oh joy. I have been dreading the searching for jobs, the writing of the cover letter, the tweaking of the resume, the nibbling away at my fingertips while I wait for the return email or call for the interview and most of all I dread the choice I need to make. So instead I have been off in a fantasy land thinking that I can prolong the job search by "exploring my options," and you may be scoffing at the little blonde girl that is complaining about making a choice, because maybe you didn't have a choice, but sometimes it's easier on the mind when you don't have a choice. I on the other hand have explored everything from the service to teaching with medical school, the peace core and TEFL in between. I have been putting off responsibility with indecision and, hey, yet another idea. My friends and family say, "so what does Jill want to do at this hour?"Well now it's time to buckle down and get serious.

I visited career services at my almamater, and Erin, gave me a few exercises to work on. They are as follows:

1st Think about my top 3 careers
2nd Go for informational interviews with someone from each of these careers
3rd- Shadow, volunteer, or get an internship at one of these places
4th-Think about what my ideal day would be
5th- Where do I see myself in 5 years?

If all else fails, pursue teaching. It would allow me to pay off debt, save some money, and buy me the time needed to make a decision.

Ok so let's think about my top three careers.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I think it might help if I first think about the things I love:
* Rock climbing
* Swimming
* Writing
* Creating anything art
* Human Anatomy & Physiology
* Sex and the City (hehe)
* Running through the woods on a rainy day, barefoot
* Learning
* The Native American Culture
* Getting Back to Basics
* Exercising
* Being Productive
* Eating healthy, fresh food

Things I want to have:
* VW bus converted to run off of veggie oil
* A pair of moccasins that I have made
* Moped
* Motorcycle
* Cell Phone
* Lap Top
* A Garden
* Hunting/gathering/fishing skills
* Alternative Medicine Know-how
* A husky

Now for the ideal day:

Wake up with the sun, go for a run through the woods with my husky, go for a swim in the river, pick vegetables from my garden gather some eggs from my chickens, collect some raw milk from my goats and take some venison from the freezer. Cook up a hardy breakfast. Eat it outside on the stone step. Meditate. Go into my artist loft and sculpt or do some pottery or draw. Sew together a pair of boots or a satchel from the deer hide that I tanned. When I am finished I put it in my shop. Pack up the VW bus with husky and climbing gear, head to the mountain for some sport routes and overnight camping. Come home visit the Stevenson's because their son is experiencing back pain, and write. Read a book by the fire and candlelight. Go to sleep.

Top 3 Careers:

*Writer
*Artist
*Holistic Healer

Where do I see myself in 5 years?
Studying alternative medicine: Herbs, chiropractic, native american and Chinese medicine, ancient medicine, finding my spiritual center. Establishing my own practice. Eventually having a wellness center. Art is not something I need to go to school for, it is a gift, and I act on inspiration.

I want to go to the arctic circle, live among the inuits for a while, spend some time with some pure-bred Native Americans, learn how to get back to basics in both health and lifestyle.